It seems to me that we’re looking at an awful lot of living horrors lately, and while I understand that’s not everyone’s bag, most of us normally want warm bodies rather than cold. But hey, who am I to kink-shame? This week we’ll look at something that has a little less pep in its step, a bundle of joy known as the Draugr.

It’s basically a Norse zombie, but they’re much cooler, have super powers, and sometimes team up with demons. These creatures are revenants, and are not only the walking dead, but are wicked strong, and can change their size at will (you can’t see it, but I’m wiggling my eyebrows at that notion). These are usually bodies that were in a grave or burial mound that become animated, and spend their time until their second death protecting their grave treasure, or fucking with the living for funsies.

They stink, they’re usually swollen, and are pretty godawful to look at. They do seem to possess some level of intelligence, and will crush victims in their larger forms, straight up eat people, drink blood, or drive people crazy. Of course, this level of fun wasn’t just saved for grave areas, as they would free-roam to kill animals for shits and giggles too. If all that wasn’t enough, they could also shapeshift, control weather, enter dreams, see into the future, and magically move through solid rock.

These creatures weren’t exactly Mary Poppins when they were alive and kicking though. To become a reanimated corpse, you normally had to be a pretty selfish person, being greedy and callous in life and going out of your way to avoid the normal path after death, remaining on Earth just to stir up trouble. What I’m getting at is those who like cold-blooded bad boys will find their soul-mate here.