Rough, buff, and fond of the ladies, the Minotaur is the half man half bull love child of the the wife of King Minos, Pasiphae, and the white bull that was supposed to be a sign of support for King Minos as well as a sacrifice to Poseidon. How did Queeny and Poseidon’s bull hook up you ask? It involves the classic tale of someone pissing off a Greek god and some fucking. Minos thought the white bull was so pretty that he kept it, sacrificing a less pretty bull in its place. In response, depending on where you’re reading, it’s either Poseidon, Aphrodite, or a combination of the two that made his wife want to fuck the bull so badly that she had someone build her a hollow cow body that she could climb into so that the bull would mount and impregnate it.

Needless to say, their child was absolutely beautiful, but I do feel bad for Pasiphae since no one wants that coming out of their vag (or do they?). Sadly, King Minos didn’t feel the same way, and put him in a labyrinth where he occasionally tossed in young ladies or beautiful young men for the Minotaur to munch on. Apparently being the son of a human and a bull means you want human flesh rather than beef, but who’s going to nit-pick?

While this bull-headed creature resurfaced in the 20th century as a race of beings for fantasy genres, there was originally only one. Our own bull-headed friend (who you will meet very soon) is not the only one of his kind, but they’re not exactly a prevalent species. While our fellow is quite brutish, he’s got a heart of gold and a near-constant boner. He enjoys long walks on the beach, ramming things, and gang bangs.