Since we’re starting to get to the ultimate sexy times this week, it only figures that we should get to the Satyr. These are fertility spirits that loved to bang nymphs and get smashed with Dionysus. They also hung around some other Greek divinity, but who cares about any of them if they aren’t into heavy drinking and promiscuity?

Satyrs are usually depicted as male with pug noses, mule or goat ears, horse tails, and sometimes with goat-legs. The adults are usually shown with goat horns, but Satyr youths have stubby nubs on their heads. You’ll often see them playing the flute, dancing, or drinking someone under the table. All in all, these are party animals, literally, as it’s in their genetic makeup to constantly be seeking out a good time.

One of the things you’ll notice about these fellows is that they always have an erect penis. We’re not talking about an issue where you need to call your doctor after four hours, we’re talking about a forever boner that doesn’t dampen your day. There were female versions, but they were invented by poets much later. They may seem like fun and games with their playful demeanor and close ties to nature, but don’t think they won’t take you hard and fast for a quick fuck. They’re closer along the lines of rape-y frat bros, but more charming.