This Wednesday I want you to think long and hard about ghosts. Do you believe in them? Can you fuck them even if you don’t believe in them? I can’t answer that for you, but I can tell you what they are. These have all sorts of different names, from specter and spook to cooler sounding titles like phantom, apparition, and haunt. All of these are souls or spirits of humans and animals alike that have passed from the mortal realm.

They are more commonly felt as a presence than seen, but when they are visible it’s like seeing a wispy shape or translucent figure of the living creature it once was. Well, for most countries anyhow. I don’t think any place in the world can rightfully lay claim to “making them up” because there are accounts of these sort of beings all over the place. Whether they’re a wisp or a disembodied head with a stomach coming to eat you, they all count as ghosts in my book.

You’ll hear of them bothering the living, trying to kill people, moaning loudly, trying to get proper burials for their forgotten bodies, and hang around places where they used to frequent when they had flesh and bones to live in. They’re basically just loud, clingy souls who want you to do things for them since they can’t interact with the physical realm as easily anymore. You can certainly try sticking your dick in a ghost or take a swing at riding one, but it’s not much fun since they’re usually felt as more of a cold spot and can’t do anything for you. Unless you’re into necrophilia…but even then it’s just not the same.