Ahh Fairies. If you haven’t heard of a fairy at this point in your life it’s because you’re not trying hard enough. Those little shits are everywhere. To be fair, not all of them are terrible, but the bad memories are always going to stick out more than the good ones. They’re called fay, fae, fairy, faery, and other spellings of the same name by people who think they’re more of a special snowflake for trying to be different.

The word fairy covers a pretty broad spectrum of creatures. If you look at literature, you’ll find it termed with sprites, elves, goblins, pixies, gnomes, brownies, leprechauns, Will o’s Wisps, and more. It’s an awkward orgy waiting to happen. Most of the time fairy describes a race of people who are magical in some regard, making a bit more sense that several different types of creatures would fall under that category. In quite a few places in history they’re mentioned as demoted angels, demons, or deities. Some think that when the gates of heaven were being shut, demons were trapped in Hell, angels were kept in Heaven, and fairies were caught in between, not being evil or good enough to go either direction. While the concept of fairies came from a variety of different French, Celtic, Germanic, and Greco-Roman origins, it had to travel a bit before it came to be the term we know it today.

These creatures normally dwell on Earth in close relationship with humans, but are known for appearing and disappearing on a whim. They’re able to fly with with wings, on leaves, and on the backs of woodland creatures. They range in size from quite minuscule to that of a small child. However, the beings that they are, they can change their appearance to a full human if they wish. They’re quite temperamental and you always risk offending them, never knowing if they’re out and about to poke fun at you or maim you for sport. They will straight up steal your wife and kids, and can manipulate people into doing just about anything they want. You would think that such fun-loving little tree huggers would be all about peace, harmony, and making love drunk on forest berry wine, but they’re probably closer to being sadists with a mean streak that want to fuck you up and leave you wondering what happened in the middle of the woods.