snap snap fwak fwak
When you hear the name Behemoth, you’re not going to picture anything smaller than a tree. That being said, one can only hope that such a creature exists and has a dick to match its name. This beast was first mentioned in Job 40:15-24 of the Bible. It has been likened to everything from an elephant or buffalo to a dinosaur. Regardless of what form it takes, it is gigantic and powerful.
This chaos monster is described rather poetically in the “good book” as having “strength in his loins, his force in the navel of his belly”. Sounds like a decent way to spend an evening. It is ruled by its primal nature, drinking up rivers and goring all who oppose him. In Jewish Rabbinic legend, this creature will fight the primal monsters of the land and sky, Leviathan and Ziz in an epic battle at the end of time. There’s more about interactions with the creator, but it’s only the big baddies we care about here.
The Behemoth is most powerful at summer solstice, and roars to basically tame every other beast that roams the wilds. Without it, animals become more ferocious and crazed, going on killing sprees of their own kind and humans. The only aspect that I would expect to tame anything for me would be a good lashing with its ‘tail’ that moves like a cedar, which if the scholars are correct on this one, actually means its penis. There’s no joke when it comes to massive dick. <3
Each part of the world seems to have its own types of monsters. Some places the monsters resemble humans more closely, and in others they take after beasts. In Puerto Rico, the latter has been reported time and time again. It is called the Chupacabra, and has been named the perpetrator of numerous animal killings, namely goats, which it will drain of all blood. It would seem fitting then that its name translates to goat-sucker.
You’ll hear tale of them in other areas as well such as Russia, the Philippines, and Maine in Northern America, but their description shifts slightly from one place to the next. While thought to be mainly coyotes or other dog-kin with sarcoptic mange, which gives leathery skin, there’s no definite call on whether or not this baddie exists.
Most stories and legends speak of an appearance of reptilian greenish-gray skin, sharp spines or quills running down its back, and standing 3-4′ tall. Its back legs are longer than its front, having it hop and stand in similar fashion to a kangaroo. There’s also mention of pronounced eye sockets, fangs, and claws, though which it uses to make puncture wounds in an upside-down triangle on its victims is up for debate. Not enough is yet known about these creatures, as some stories mention they might even be able to fly. Whether it’s an old wives tale or there are some creatures that have effectively stayed on the fringes of human culture is up for debate, though people often have a knack for being wrong.